12 February, 2011

"Where is my sister at a time like this?" i kept asking myself today.
She of all people should be helping her best friend out today to move into a new house.
11 months he has lived with us and my selfish sister does not help him pack, nor move, or even go help him unpack at his new house.
That is NOT how a best friend behaves at this kind of situation. Even if plans were already made that day.
Your best friend is worth the time cancelling plans to helpmove.
I cancelled plans to become an extra on a TV show today with one of my favourite comedians, but i knew Matthew needed my help.So I selflessley helped out moving things for him and to look after his little sister.

It doesn't matter how bad he is with decisions, even if it's about moving house. It shouldn't matter at the time if you're angry about his situation. As a best friend your role is to help and support decisions your best friend takes on in life. It seems my sisters brain does not work  that way. I assume her brain is programmed to constantley and perminantly put herself first before others and that's what is upsetting me and also Matt.
Matt had a dissapointed look on his face all day, hoping his best friend would change her mind and want to focus on somone else and their life for today. Just for one day.

Witnessing my sisters actions today has made me less some what less of her.
It got me thinking of if this situation ever happened to me, what would she do?
Would she actually help? will she ditch me if some other better plans comes along?
I feel she may even be unrealiable because her world seems to matter more than our worlds combined. Apart from Andys world, but thats another story.
As he left for the last time, his voice was breaking with emotion standing at the door hoping this wouldnt be it, but it had to be.
Andy breifly says bye.
my sister walkes down the halway hearing our goodbyes and goes straight to her room.
I had to call out for her to stop and come and say goodbye which shouldnt be even asked to do.
5 long seconds went passed as she stood at her door then slowly came out and said "bye"
I have never seen Matt look so broken after trying to fix thigns with her before he left. Denying the feelings as she does, she stands there infront of him silent. Not budging.
He walks away. friendship like this is too valuable to just stand there in silence waiting.
This is too much like Will and Grace shit. It's ridiculous!

All in all, my sister is a selfish person and letting a move like this ruin her friendship with Matt. Not talking because In my opinion shes not talking because she doesn't want to face Matt moving. Also i feel she's upset because she feels Matt may have chosen Jackie ( Matt's "other" best friend) over Amie in the move when it's not that at all!
Honestly, It's a childish act for my sister.
I hope that one day she can swallow her pride, kick back her selfish-ness and act like a mature adult about this because she needs to face facts. Matt is NOT hers, NOR Jackies. He belongs to himself so Amie should not get jealous because he is not an object nor a dog.
Her behaviour towards Matt is poor and immature and its stupid!
Matt deserves more respect and support from his best friend because if this situation was reversed she would not stand for this.

Matthew.

Dearest Matthew,

Thank you.
Thank you for being a wonderful housemate, big brother and friend.
I have cherished the 11 months you have lived with us, even if you havn't been here that much recently.
Thanks for making the weirdest combinations of rices or stirfrys in the world.,they tasted delicious.. i think!
Thank you for helping me out through hard times with friends and family and even getting my hours up when you didnt have to.
Thank you for putting up with me and my mess and Mojo and his..mess haha.
I feel so thankful you helped me and my sister out by moving in with us in march last year, i have never been so excited to escape the old world into this crazy new world that was about to begin.
Thanks for being a friend.
Thanks for being the BEST housemate.
will see you soon :) xoxoxoxo

Day 30

Day 30- Who are you?
Who am i?
I will never be entirely sure until my very last days of living.
So far, i am the mentally new and improved Clare Vacca.
Physically.. a bit more overweight.
I am the girl now who will stand up for her friends and herself!
I am the girl who loves her disfunctional family.
I am the girl who is not afraid to drive.
I am the girl who will not be fixated on some boy because his nice.
I am the girl who is going to Europe because I CAN.
I am the girl who will now tell you my opinions.
I am the girl who still loves pickles =]

Day 29

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
I have learned, it's okay to let people know how you feel.
To NOT be walked over.
To be able to say the things you've always wanted.
To express yourself.
To think of what YOU want,not what they want.

Day 28

 Day 28- (very late day 28)
A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

 

Obvious reasons, I'm Brunette, and i weigh more.

Last year i was quiet and kept my opinions to myself.

This year, I speak up.